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POSTED BY: CreepShow on May 31, 2008
Sweet Dreams

There still might be some typos, so just hang in there.

Sweet Dreams


 


 


 


PROLOGUE


 


            Nile…are you okay?” Her voice was very faint against the dreadful white noise that filled my head. “Nile, wake up!” I wanted to get up from the cold, wet ground that tiled the kitchen.


            ”Damnit, Nile! Get up!” The terrified voice was in full spectrum now and at last I managed to pick up my throbbing head. As I opened my eyes, I saw a freakish figure run up and grab her throat. He dragged her into the foyer as the screams for help faded off into the distance.


            I stood up and ran to save her from certain death, but I never got further than merely standing. There was a halting pain in the back of my ankle that caused me to fall back into the pool of blood that formed beneath me. I examined my bloody leg only to find that my achilles tendon was slashed. The pain soon became very real; I started thrashing about, crying both at the excruciating pain I was in and for my best friend, who was stolen from me and murdered.


            I clutched my thigh while tossing and turning in the blood puddle. My vision was fading and I was moving less and less while the pain kept growing. The white noise was resurfacing in the back of my head.


            It soon became a high-pitched ring as I felt like I was swimming through a sea of agony. I was battered by huge swells of white wash and salty waves that never ceased. Then my head struck something very, very soft when the sea finally settled. I was comfortable, almost too comfortable.


            The screeching ring was going at full blast, however the pain in my leg receded to a slight twitch. I figured this is what death must be like. I opened my eyes, but instead of magnificent clouds and beautiful angles, I found my bedroom ceiling and my phone’s alarm going off at 6:34 in the morning. One word popped into my mind: TOS VIOLATION.


            I threw the covers off of my sweaty body and hopped to my feet, but then the cramp crawled back into my leg again; I hobbled in crippling pain to the bathroom.


            I had twenty minutes to shower, get dressed, eat, and walk to school, but I only had time to do two of those. I decided to skip breakfast, even though it was out last day of finals. I had no time to continue contemplating the decision, so I sped up the shower process by about five minutes, which left me with only ten minutes to get ready.


            Given the crazy time crunch, I threw on whatever clothes I could find; a pair of shorts I wore two days earlier, an old Pokémon shirt, a random grey jacket, and my torn-up skate shoes. My phone had died shortly after it finished buzzing, and my wallet was nowhere to be found. As for the iPod, it was lost in the ocean of sheets and blankets that lay on my bed. But time was running out, and I had no time to look for either one.


            It was a good morning for me; I may have been hungry, phone-ridden, music-deprived, broke for the day and late for school, but at least I was able to shower.


 


Chapter One ~


Invitation


 


            I ran as fast as I could to school, and I wasn’t going to let the needle-like rain drops or piercing wind slow me down. I had no choice but to endure the horrid weather; Mr. Crootch was a tardy whore and I was already on his two-strike list.


            The bell rang before I even reached the campus, but Mr. Crotch, er, Mr. Crootch, let me off the hook. This was a side of him I’d never seen before. However, there was a simple explanation: he knocked up Ms. Babooshka.


            As he gracefully fluttered about the room and passed out the AP Stats final, Keegan pulled her desk up to mine.


            “Dude, after today, I’m going up to Rancidium St. Wanna join?”


            “What’s up there besides tumble weeds and the old Webecker house?”


            “You just answered your own question.”


            “What’re you? Serious?” She looked at me as if I was being ridiculous.


            “I’m getting paid to sleep in the master bedroom. You should join me.” I raised one eyebrow and put on a suggestive smile. “You can sleep on the couch, pervert!”


            There was a loud crash from Mr. Crootch’s desk. He had vigorously slammed down his cell phone and demanded, “Start your tests. If you talk, you fail.” My best guess was that the Crootch monster had just gotten off the phone with his playmate from the previous night.


           


 Chapter Two ~


Hell


 


            Four finals down, one more to go. Now Spanish 3 is a little thing I like to call “diabolical hell.” The teacher sucks like hell. The students are scary as hell. The material sucks more like hell, so I’m in hell. On top of being hell-bound, I had no friends in that class. I kept to myself, however, and I always wound up sitting in the back of the class. Thank God.


            Two pain-staking hours rolled by before we were finally released from the blazing inferno of Hades. I could swear I was never so excited in my entire life. However, that tingly feeling in my stomach didn’t last too long; Keegan called me and said that I had to meet her at the Pic N’ Grab or else she would get her gay cousin to rape me.


 


 


Chapter Three ~


The Warning


 


            “Keegan? Keegan?!?!” I called her name out several times, but no reply. “C’mon dude. This isn’t funny.” I walked the perimeter of the tiny store, hoping I would find her before she could pull off some devious prank.


            As I turned a corner, there was a large stack of crates lined along the rear of the store. I crept closer, fearing the worst. I quickly kicked the crates over in anticipation of a sneak attack, yet there was nothing.


            My racing heartbeat was just starting to slow down when a glass bottle shattered behind me. Shards of beer bottle glass were thrusted into my calves as I leaped into the air. I whirled around and looked every which way, panicking like a paranoid freakazoid. I looked up to the roof, frantically searching for the person who tried to attack me; I found no one. “Keegan, you little bitch! I will find you!” And I did find her. I found her pulling up in her mom’s minivan down below.


            Nile…what the hell happened to you?”


            “Call me crazy, but I think someone tried to kill me.


            “What? Now you’ve really lost it.”


            “No I’m serious! Look at my leg.” She saw nothing.


            “What am I looking for?”


            “The glass that’s been wedged in my skin. That’s what.”


            “Were you hanging out with the stoners again?”


            “Damnit!” I remembered that I had brushed off the glass behind the store. “Follow me.” I took her to the back of the store to show her the scene of the crime.


            “So this is what you brain is like on drugs.


            I couldn’t understand any of it. The crates were perfectly stacked up in the same orderly fashion, the shattered bottle no longer lay in pieces on the floor, and the suspect was nowhere to be found. Was I really going crazy? Or did the attacker come back to clean up?


  


Chapter Four ~


Possession


 


            “Why is this street always so gloomy?” I asked, trying not to show my obvious anxiety.


            “How long have you lived here?” she replied, obviously annoyed.


            “My whole life.”


            “God. I’ve been here two years and I know more about this desolate wasteland of a town. You need to get out more.”


            “Yeah, yeah. Just keep walking.” As we proceeded further and further up Rancidium St., the surroundings got more and more haunting. Every building was either shut down or burned down. The trees were scarce; the ones I did see were dead and ridden with insects. There was the occasional car or two that were parked diagonally and stripped of their wheels, engines, stereos and any other parts that might’ve been profitable. Only crows roamed the skies above this street, and only two people would be stupid enough to sleep in the old Webecker house.


            The front gate was rusted shut, so we had to hop the massive twelve foot fence. Upon approach of the front door, Keegan tripped and fell on her face. Shortly after helping her up, I, too, tripped.


            “What the hell, man?!” My nose hurts like a…” her voice faded as she shrieked and jumped back about four feet.


            “What?! You look like you just saw a dead body.”


            “Look down at your feet.” Her voice was shrill and unclear, but I did as she said. I tilted my head down and found a half-eaten hand on my shoe. It served as breakfast, lunch and dinner for the local rats. My jaw became agape and I turned around to puke in the brush next to the stairs leading up to the door. In those same bushes lay the rest of the body that accompanied the hand, which was also partially rotted. It had no eyes, the teeth were knocked in, and some of the rib cage was exposed. Fastened to the body’s jacket was a pin that read USPS. “It’s a mailman! That Webecker bitch killed the mailman!” No longer able to look at the carcass, I threw up on it again.


            “No Nile. Look.” Keegan pointed at a very thin wire. He tripped on this too.”


            “Yeah, but how did he lose his hand?” As if to answer my question, a guillotine-like blade fell from the doorway and landed next to me, almost slicing my arm off. “Holy shit! Screw this Keegan, we need to leave. What will my parents think if I’m gone?”


            “Dude, I’m getting paid five hundred bucks to do this, and don’t give that parent crap. They’re out of town and you know it.”


            “So you’d rather kill yourself over money rather than go home?”


            “Yup.” She hadn’t even thought it over before she answered.


            “Keegan, there’s a dead body on my left and a trap on my right. We need to tell the police! Where’s your reasoning?”


            “Fine then! Be a little pussy. More money for me.”


            “What’s wrong with you?”


            “You! You and your gay Pokémon shirt are my problem. So are you in or out?”


            “Just open the damn door.” I was tired of fighting with her, but I couldn’t help but feel that this wasn’t the real Keegan. It was almost as if…the house was taking control of her.


            &nb sp;                         &nb sp;
            &nb sp;                         &nb sp; Chapter Five ~


Death Wish


 


            The interior of the house was something out of Transylvania; shabby carpeting, red velvet curtains, oddly shaped furniture, cobwebs in every possible nook and cranny, and elaborate painting on every wall.


            As we meandered throughout the house, the floor kept creaking and our minds kept racing. I was scared for my life. Keegan, however…well, I couldn’t say. I couldn’t even find Keegan. I headed towards the foyer, hoping I would find her.


            To my right was the kitchen in all of its rotten beauty, and to my left was a stairwell…with no stairs. It was as if I really had a choice, so I the kitchen was my destination. As I entered, Keegan came into view. I was relieved to see her alive, but her expression baffled me.


            “Keegan, what’s up? Are you okay…” I started to ask her what was wrong, but then I saw what had horrified her.


            On the wall was a ridiculously mangled body which appeared to be skinned alive. It had a knife shoved in each limb, and the head was hanging on a hook next to the stove. Written on the wall next to the poor victim was “YOU WERE WARNED”


            Keegan quickly left the kitchen and I followed, but waiting for me in the foyer was a still and silent Keegan. “What are you doing?!? Move! We need to leave now!”


            Wait just a minute Nile.” Her voice was demonic and sinister, like that of a demon. “You need to follow me.”


            “No. What’re you doing? Dammit, knock it off!” I didn’t want to follow her, but my feet kept moving. She had me in her clutches and whatever happened would happen, whether I liked it or not.


            We must’ve walked through every corridor in the mansion, and every minute I grew more and more tired of trying to escape. At last I pulled myself together and managed to get away.


            I ran back down the seemingly endless hallway and turned into one of the bedrooms. I slammed the door behind me and crouched in a corner, holding my body for dear life.


            My best friend turned evil found the bedroom and started pounding on the door in attempts to break in. Tears began forming in my eyes as my heart thumped harder and harder as Keegan got closer. I put my head down between my arms and waited.


            Minutes went by before she burst through the door, glaring at me with red eyes. I looked up and saw may one and only true friend for the last time. She took one step, grabbed my neck, and threw me onto the bed like a dead fish. From the desk next to the bed she pulled out a huge machete. I was too horrified to defend myself, but what was I to do had I been strong enough to keep from giving up? I was going to die right then and there. I watched helplessly as she raised the machete very slowly. An eerie smile formed on her face, and her eyes were blazing with fury. She swung the blade down to my throat as fast as she could, and even before she pierced my flesh I could feel the knife slowly cutting through each layer of my neck.


            I closed my eyes and just waited for my life to end, but nothing happened. I lifted one eyelid open to see what was going on, and there she stood, just staring at me. A sinister smile was stretched across her face, and she put the blade back onto the table. She laughed quietly as she walked back to the door, and began to laughing demonically as she locked me in the bedroom and got rid of the key.


            I spent a minute trying to figure out why she didn’t kill me, but then it all became very clear: she…no…it…wants me to suffer. I shot up and darted towards the door, but it wouldn’t budge. I began crying hysterically and continued to try to open the door, even though I knew I was trapped in that windowless bedroom.


            I walked to the desk that contained to the machete, picked it up, and sat on the bed. I just looked at the blade blankly, not knowing what to do. Thoughts of suicide were flying left and right, but something deep down inside told me “no.” I threw the blade down, flopped onto the bed, and just waited for death to take me away, to take me far off into a better place. And I waited, and waited, and waited.





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POSTED BY: CreepShow on May 31, 2008

I realize that some of my grammer in this story is simply awful, but not on purpose! I'm an Honors English student and would want nothing more than a perfect paper, but alas I am far too lazy to read through the entire thing yet AGAIN to correct any more errors. My apologies for any pain this causes.





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POSTED BY: LabMama on Jun 7, 2008
Grammar Help

I could proof-read it, if you like.  I am kind of a spelling and grammar wonk.  I like your story so far.  I would like a little more character development for Nile.  It is obvious that he is a high-school student, but other than that, his main occupation appears to be making fun of his teachers and being a slacker. You have an entire chapter devoted to his disdain for Spanish 3.  It's only two paragraphs, but still, an entire chapter? What does he look like? What does he like?  Does he have a family? Why is he so loyal to Keegan? What is the history of the house? Who is paying Keegan? Why would anyone pay someone to stay in a derelict mansion? I am also a little confused on the time-line.  There is a time period gap between chapters 3 and 4 that is not obvious. Did they wait until sundown, or just go to the house directly after school?

Umm, just a couple of proof-reading comments: TOS VIOLATION is two words, not one.  You might want to explain what that means to your reader.

Also, if you only have time to do two things in the morning, and you do three (shower, get dressed, and walk to school), I think you need to rewrite that sentence.  I was actually interested to see if Nile would take a shower and walk to school naked, or get dressed, have breakfast, and stay home. I'm just being picky, of course. Please keep wriiting! I would like to see how it turns out!





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POSTED BY: CreepShow on Jun 8, 2008

Lab Mama, you gave me more help than my English teacher! I've got quite a bit to work on, it seems. Thank  you soo much.





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POSTED BY: LabMama on Jun 10, 2008
I'm glad

I am so glad that you took the criticism in the "spirit" that I meant it. I didn't want to make you feel stepped on. I was worried that I was too harsh. Can't wait for the next installment!





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POSTED BY: wolvesvain on Jun 14, 2008

Glad to see your work.. I have been waiting for someone to begin posting to the group. I realy like the story and look forward to seeing more writings from you.





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Oct 12, 2008


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