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Haunt_Master
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Haunt tragedy
Posted On: 05/25/2008 15:16:50

I had a bomb of bad news drop on me the other day.
Since timing is never good with this, it hit me & others involved like a boulder out of the sky. It's been hard for me to write this but, I figure that since we're all family here the support would help dealing with this.

 My nephew Jason (23) is my main helper building the maze every year in Southern MN. Things that he's good at like construction & other things, are a balance of my talents as well. We do have other minons in the form of friends & family that help as well (but, not to the same extent). Well... the other day I got a frantic /tearful call from my Sister inlaw (his mother) that Jason is moving to Oregon with his internet girlfriend & living with her folks for the time being. She's been here in MN since sometime last year, almost a year. It's weird but, we've all tried to make her feel welcome. Anyway her mother was here for 2 wks & she's been having a hard time dealing with her leaving again. Even though she talks with her family on the cell phone frequently. Neither one of them is working fulltime but, Jason is working more hours computer consulting, repairs, etc. Somehow or another they decided to move to Oregon. Between the 2 of them they have 3 dogs (2 large & a poodle) & they are driving her small 4 door sedan car back with some of their stuff. It just kills me that they aren't thinking straight, nor are doing anything here to improve their lives here to stay. She never did try to find a fulltime job, & had Jason drive her around here all the time.

 This is not only a loss of a friend/nephew that I've known since he was 5 yrs old but, my main haunt partner. Today (Sunday) during brunch it just killed me to sit there with him. I tried not to say anything but, a few things slipped in jest. Want the best for him but, I think he's lost & wasting his life. Making the transistion from childhood to adult has been difficult & he's reverting back.

 Just don't know how to deal with this.



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05/26/2008 18:03:37

Maybe I can give you another perspective coming from your nephews point of view since I've been in the same spot myself. I moved over 3 hours away with my girlfriend from both our families. After we had broken up and just got back together for six months. When it comes right down to it he's the only one who knows whats best for him at the time, and no one else can make that decision whether it's one you personally like or not. Don't be afraid to speak your mind with him, but choose your words carefully! Remember the decision is always his.

Oh, and btw I married her!



05/26/2008 03:38:32

This is hard for you. I totally understand, having a 23 yo daughter myself and I don't agree with some of her choices. It's so hard to sit back and let them make their own decisions, but they are young and now is the time to do it.

IMHO the best thing you can do is stay in contact and be supportive. Trying to run their lives will push them away from you. Let them know you love them no matter what choices they make.



05/25/2008 23:08:16

Its hard to sit back and not say anything to a family member who is old enough to make their own decissions, I have been there with my own kids, all you can do is try to guide them and hope that they listen and use what they can, but also be their to help pick up the pieces when things dont work out quite the way they were planned , everyone has to make their own decissions and do, its all a learning process and just as with any of us some of the decissions arent the right ones or the best that we could have made. It always great to have someone to turn to that you know loves you and cares and that will help and not judge.




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