Going through Freecycle today and a header caught my attention.

Freshly Cut Rosemary.

Already see where I'm going? Could also be Freshly Cut Herb.

Mental image of woman in kitchen over cutting board with her throat slit. The tv is on and she's watching a cooking show that tells you how to chop your Rosemary. Pouring Green Goddess (full of goddess' eyeballs?) salad dressing over a bowl of "finger" foods.

Which brought up a whole crop of phrases from commercials and products. She slices, she dices. Chop-O-Matic. Veg-O-Matic (how to chop a zombie?)

Then image of hawker at the fair, a rotting corpse selling to a group of rotting, fair-going corpses. Maybe he has a home sausage making gizmo and body parts are going into it. "Cut your finger while preparing dinner? No problem, with this handy-dandy machine, it can become dinner. See how easily thse bones go right into...."

I get like this when the leaf blowers wake me from my nap. Which brings up an image of what I'd like to do to him with his leaf blower. A zombie in curlers and nightie chasing a gardener with his own leaf blower. Sweet revenge. Or road crew with jackhammer. Plumber with pipe snake.

If this inspires you please share.